THIS IS DEAD

Polar Bear

I don’t like poetry or poets that say it doesn’t have to rhyme

But scrawling late night TV one catches tired eyes.

Bang goes the gun and a bullet through my heart,

Scrap heart, put fancy make you sound less like a tart.

He’s northern and common, calls himself Polar Bear

I wonder if that’s ‘bear’ as in gay or does he just like animals?

I sit up from my Orla Keily bedspread and suddenly I LOVE poetry,

I’m a bi polar poet interested in Polar Bears possible bisexuality.

Google ‘Is Polar Bear gay?’ result images of polar bears - right click save, mouse.

Next day, showtime, up early, enroute to Roundhouse

Swing open door, who’s there giving young poets advice?

Fuck. Act cool. How do you act cool?

Both in Harrington’s, mines inside out,

I’m edgy like that, he’s not, it’s love at first sight

I keep my cool, he couldn’t care less

I think he’s pretending, it’s all a pretense

Fortnight later I search for him on YouTube

Of course I’m setting up a poetry night, what am I like?

He does a poem about something or other,

I’m more interested in any background gay paraphernalia.

HE HAS ORLA KEILY PILLOW CASES TOO!

Surely this is a sign we’re made for each other?

A little more searching and I follow him on twitter,

Doesn’t follow back he’s not a great tweeter.

That flat has definitely got the / a woman’s touch,

There’s a clotheshorse in the background

What bloke has a fucking clothes horse?

Sunday in Sainsbury’s, browsing avocados,

You storm up behind me and fondle one too

Listening to Spice Girls you catch my eye,

You look too long - whose fucking stalking who?

‘Wannabe’ off and I follow you to isle 2,

You pick up a carrot; you look at me, headlights & rabbit

FYI I think you look nicer without that flatcap.

The last time I saw you, two weeks ago

You’ve turned me into a stalker and local weirdo

I’m already dating but I think I’d be allowed

Your semi famous aint you? Are you endowed?

I’m sorry you’re now reading this off my blog

And now things will be tres awkward

Awkward? Like orange I can’t find anything to rhyme with.

Awkward. It isn’t meant to be, sorry for being forward.