THIS IS DEAD

I want to be a writer (as well)?

Are writers people who just like the sound of their own voice? If this is the case then I’ll happily put pen to ipad. For someone without a GCSE let alone a degree in the subject, nor inkling whether or weather its your or you’re its not really the best career choice I could make, let alone the fact I’ve spent the last 4 years peddling myself as a performer but there is something about it I find strangely gratifying - people across the world have the ability to download my thoughts - epic!

I can be anything I want to be – I blame my mother for this self-assurance / arrogance but it could be a byproduct of New Labour optimism (council kids can achieve their goals too thanks to the Duke of Edinburgh). I’ve never had a feeling that I was unable to do something, post expulsion from school at 14 years old my initial reaction was ‘prove ‘em wrong’ and I could possibly be pretentious enough to call this my ‘life mantra’. Writing however is a newfound pastime of mine but I want to make it clear I’m not writing fiction, fiction is for 30 something office clerks to read on the tube in Ugg boots (discuss). I, like most modern artists with an ego over substance have a blog where I expose the world to the hardships of ‘being an artist’ – I don’t really but a lot of my peers seem to which annoys me incredibly, rolling around the floor for a living isn’t hard, its amazing and its subsidized by people who spend their earnings on gambling. With a mouth full of hatred for performance artists and some time to kill I wrote my first academic paper late last year ‘The Observation of Live Art’, why? The aforementioned arrogance. It was good, in fact it was more than good, I smashed it. Since then I’ve relished in the opportunity of spout off my pessimistic points of view (or ‘ranty style you do’ – Bryony Kimmings) and to my surprise its incredibly cathartic but has left me with a dilemma – can I be both performer and critic? Yes I think I can, I’m from a generation where to become a writer you start a blog (or send your friends at i-D emails) or to become a photographer you buy a camera and regardless how many tumblr sites dedicated to nail art pollute our lives we do have to admit, our optimism and ambition is commendable.

Before I start putting ‘writer’ or god forbid ‘journalist’ into my biog I do have to ask myself am I doing this because I am a gay man who subconsciously thinks he is Carrie Fisher? I’ve got the laptop, silly clothes and like most friendship circles I’ve always ended up being ‘the Carrie’. I guess I’m writing this because I feel I need to come out, as a writer, who isn’t very good at writing.

Irony – I sent this to two publications that I contribute for, both ignored my email; this is the writer’s world saying “no thx xoxo”

Can I be a writer? The world is my oyster card and if in doubt I’ll Google it.

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