THIS IS DEAD

Russell Tovey is the least of your worries

In an interview with Observer this weekend Russell Tovey told us flabby, femme, tapdancing Sunday readers that he was thankful his Dad sent him to the right school, if he had gone to a stage school he might have turned out like me.

“I was so envious of everyone who went to Sylvia Young Theatre School. I wanted to go but my dad flat-out refused. He thought I’d become some tapdancing freak without qualifications. And he was right in a way. I’m glad I didn’t go. That might have changed…”

"I feel like I could have been really effeminate, if I hadn’t gone to the school I went to. Where I felt like I had to toughen up. If I’d have been able to relax, prance around, sing in the street, I might be a different person now. I thank my dad for that, for not allowing me to go down that path. Because it’s probably given me the unique quality that people think I have.”

What followed next was a barrage of Tovey hating tweets, within hours he was robbed of his gay badge and elected this weeks most hated homosexual.

This morning Russell took to twitter after thinking through his response in the gym. In a sort of anti-apology he said 'I'm sat baffled and saddened that a mis-fired inarticulate quote of mine, has branded me the worst gay ever' - because there's such thing as a good gay?!

Homosexuals across the UK are mortified but Tovey's thoughts are unsurprising, they convey the idoligies of the homosexual masses.

Turn on your Grindr and scroll through profiles adorned with anti-fat, racist, femme shaming strap lines - if the gay catchphrase of 1975 was shut that door 2015's is no fats, no femmes, no Asians. 

Faggots strongly believe the size of your biceps and penis are essential to your success at masculinity and so our clubs, gyms and NHS walk-ins are now littered with top-heavy-forgot-leg-day queens in sensible jeans, all of whom are attempting the lowest pitch 'Yea, Hello'.

Homo culture has become one long, straight-acting, NSA hook up in overpriced AussieBum pants with gym sessions and instagram selfies peppered between the bulking shakes ...and everyone is a top.

Now I'm not saying that every Mary is a Mary but not every Mary is a Joseph. We've created a culture in which the Mary's are penalised and it stinks of patriarchy.

I've always been camp, it's not something I've learnt or received - my voice is higher than the other boys and I express myself more effeminately - these are not reasons why I or anyone else should be ostracised from their community. Femme shaming is fucking naff.

Russells title as the UK's homosexual you wouldn't mind living next door means thats he does have a responsibility to normalise gay culture for those who deem it alien but it doesn't mean the weight of the community and its downfalls are on his shoulders.

I have no conclusion or ideas for irradiating femme shaming or man spreading - they are ingrained in every day life. We're surrounded by the effects of patriarchy and I'm often a victim of it but listen up str8-acting-homo I'm not the one putting on an act, I'm articulating myself in a healthy manner - with sequins and boas and I will not be shamed, made to feel inadequate or partake in your pithy culture.

Him of Him & Her is not the enemy, it is every queen whose profile reads no fats, no femmes, no Asians whose to blame for Russell's attitudes towards femmes, but how many of you will tell them their attitudes stink next time you're sculling the nearest available headless torso? If you want to live in a world where tap-dancing freaks are just as welcome as the next man then live in that world and normalise the perceived abnormal.